The last few years the fall has been a strange season for me. Stemming from my high school and college days, it always conjures up anxious feelings of excitement for cross country season and a new school year. As if in tune with the weather turning, it has always marked an urgency that Nationals is upon me and the need to be fit and ready. Now, without the fall cross country season, I am left with those same feelings, yet am stuck in a body that feels far from fit and race-ready after just completing a season and taking a break. It is too soon to get amped up for the Olympic Trials at the end of June, and so I struggle to pace my enthusiasm. However, due to the recent events that occurred in New York City, I have gained a different kind of enthusiasm and intensity towards my training.
November 3rd will always be a memorable day for me. Never before have I felt such an intense mix of emotions. I was elated as I watched Ryan dominate the final miles of the marathon trials, rejoicing the whole way, living out his dream of becoming an Olympian. It had been a long road getting to this point, mentally and physically, for both of us. Back in August, Ryan went through a period where his training was going so poorly that he had started to give up hope on his dream and wonder if he should be even show up on race day. To compound the issue, I was in Europe, helpless to support him besides calling him from my computer in Belgium. I thought about those days as I watched the relief on his face when he broke the tape.
However, our joy came to a halt an hour later when our agent, Ray Flynn, reported the news of Ryan Shay. We were shocked. Both of us had just gone on a run with Ryan and Alicia the day before the race and he seemed as healthy and excited as my husband Ryan. In the next few days, Alicia and I spent some time together, with little talking and mostly crying. However, one thing she said to me while we were on a run in Central Park was, “Just remember, that we have been called to live ‘for such a time as this’ “. Coming from a verse in the Bible (Esther 4:14), this verse refers to a young Jewish woman Esther who, because she had been appointed queen, was given a unique opportunity to save her people from ensuing genocide. Her uncle Mordecai reminds her, “And who knows whether you have attained royalty for such a time as this?”
It wasn’t unusual that Alicia was mentioning this to me- it was something she often reminded me of while in college, before big races or important events, but in this instance it took on new meaning. There is more urgency to pursue the things to which you’re called with courage and intentionality when life is unpredictable and tomorrow is not promised to us. My goal for this next season as I train for the goals God has put before me is to train, race and live with this courage and intentionality, knowing that I have been created “for such a time as this”. And in doing so, I hope to honor Ryan Shay..
